Book Freak #104: Understanding People
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In this issue: four pieces of advice from Triggers: Creating Behavior That Lasts, Becoming the Person You Want, by Marshall Goldsmith.
Don’t get mad at people for being who they are
“Getting mad at people for being who they are makes as much sense as getting mad at a chair for being a chair.”
Beware of the backfire effect
“Whether the subject is climate change or the life span of unicorns, when you cite demonstrable facts to counter another person’s belief, a phenomenon that researchers call ‘the backfire effect’ takes over. Your brilliant marshaling of data not only fails to persuade the believer, it backfires and strengthens his or her belief. The believer doubles down on his or her position—and the two of you are more polarized than ever.
Use the magic of apologizing
“Apologizing is a magic move. Only the hardest of hearts will fail to forgive a person who admits they were wrong. Apology is where behavioral change begins.”
Follow-up with your colleagues
“People don’t get better without follow-up. So let’s get better at following up with our people.”
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