Book Freak 131: Mastering Thoughts, Emotions, Anxiety, and Failure
Everyday Tools for Life's Ups and Downs
Book Freak is a newsletter with mental tools you can use to improve the quality of your life and the lives of others. In this issue: four pieces of advice from Why Has Nobody Told Me This Before? by Julie Smith
Recognize the difference between thoughts and facts
“Thoughts are not facts. They are a mix of opinions, judgements, stories, memories, theories, interpretations, and predictions about the future… Just as thoughts are not facts, feelings are not facts either. Emotions are information, but when that information is powerful, intense and loud, as emotions can be, then we are more vulnerable to believing in them as a true reflection of what is going on. I feel it therefore it must be a fact. Emotional reasoning is a thought bias that leads us to use what we feel as evidence for something to be true, even when there might be plenty of evidence to suggest otherwise.”
If you want to feel less anxious about something, do it as often as you can
“When we feel anxious about something, the most natural human response is to avoid it. We know that if we stay away, we’ll feel safe, for now. But avoidance not only maintains anxiety, it makes it worse over time… The things you do most of the time become your comfort zone. So, if you want to feel less anxious about something, do it as often as you can.”
Don’t associate failure with unworthiness
“If we associate failure with unworthiness, then starting anything new is going to feel overwhelming and procrastination will be front and center. We protect ourselves from the psychological threat of shame by sabotaging the process before it gets started.”
Choose the thought worth paying attention to
“Allowing all thoughts to be present, but choosing which ones we give our time and attention to, can have a powerful impact on our emotional experience.”
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