Issue #96: How to Set Boundaries for Yourself
Here are four brief excerpts from Set Boundaries, Find Peace: A Guide to Reclaiming Yourself by Nedra Glover Tawwab
Practice healthy self-boundaries by saying "no"
“ I say no to things I don’t like. I say no to things that don’t contribute to my growth. I say no to things that rob me of valuable time.... The ability to say no to yourself is a gift. If you can resist your urges, change your habits, and say yes to only what you deem truly meaningful, you’ll be practicing healthy self-boundaries. It’s your responsibility to care for yourself without excuses.”
Do less
“We can’t create more time, but we can do less, delegate, or ask for help.”
Grow beyond pleasing others
“The hardest thing about implementing boundaries is accepting that some people won’t like, understand, or agree with yours. Once you grow beyond pleasing others, setting your standards becomes easier. Not being liked by everyone is a small consequence when you consider the overall reward of healthier relationships.”
Don't expect guilt-free boundary setting
“Remember: there is no such thing as guilt-free boundary setting. If you want to minimize (not eliminate) guilt, change the way you think about the process. Stop thinking about boundaries as mean or wrong; start to believe that they’re a nonnegotiable part of healthy relationships, as well as a self-care and wellness practice.”
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